








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 339 matches | ||
| Wingman | 125 matches | ||
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3563 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,042 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2893 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2724 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 6693 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 5732 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,775,028 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #MiJi | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | IskolD | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Danish ninja | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Whistler | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | SWuBBie | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #MiJi | 343 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | Mr. Bang | 173 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | SWuBBie | 167 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | IskolD | 158 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Danish ninja | 138 | 0.02 | 3 min |





