








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1040 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 959 matches | ||
| Wingman | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 288 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11407 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 63,656 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 22914 | 36% |
| Smokes | 7014 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 21811 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 11917 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,354,508 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 259 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | S4tivA | 47% | 453 |
| #6 | Not.Robiinouw | 46% | 164 |
| #7 | CumuloW | 45% | 168 |
| #8 | Deus | 44% | 101 |
| #9 | DeramK | 43% | 201 |





