








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1003 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1186 matches | ||
| Faceit | 145 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 237 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8953 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 63,914 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14619 | 23% |
| Smokes | 18607 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 15207 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 15481 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,799,060 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 835 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RobbyBait | 52% | 133 |
| #2 | Batman | 49% | 76 |
| #3 | nielsen | 45% | 84 |
| #4 | Kirsten Kamelklapper | 45% | 281 |
| #5 | ✪Tsunami | 45% | 161 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | nielsen | 45% | 84 |
| #4 | Kirsten Kamelklapper | 45% | 281 |
| #5 | ✪Tsunami | 45% | 161 |
| #6 | YUNG NOOB 1337 | 41% | 88 |
| #7 | knold® | 39% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YUNG NOOB 1337 | 9 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | RobbyBait | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Kirsten Kamelklapper | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | knold® | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | ✪Tsunami | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kirsten Kamelklapper | 649 | 0.11 | 20 min |
| #2 | RobbyBait | 388 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | YUNG NOOB 1337 | 203 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | ✪Tsunami | 162 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Batman | 155 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YUNG NOOB 1337 | +3.20 | 83 | 57 |
| #2 | RobbyBait | +1.90 | 54 | 85 |
| #3 | Batman | +1.48 | 54 | 83 |
| #4 | ✪Tsunami | +0.06 | 62 | 59 |
| #5 | knold® | -0.29 | 66 | 60 |





