








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1660 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 510 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 136 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4238 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,629 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8233 | 28% |
| Smokes | 8187 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6444 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6765 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,636,315 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 954 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | miksu | 45% | 416 |
| #8 | makko | 40% | 72 |
| #9 | karokaro | 36% | 205 |
| #10 | MulSu | 30% | 139 |
| #11 | Mvp | 28% | 67 |





