








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 630 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2014 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,686 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2169 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1506 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1604 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1407 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $470,391 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | mar10n | 45% | 20 |
| #12 | Bach Bak <3 | 42% | 12 |
| #13 | aniff | 33% | 9 |
| #14 | Pejs | 24% | 17 |
| #15 | Qunnylele | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mlky | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mlky | 333 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | MO'11 | 154 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #3 | zpn | 75 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Marquina^ | 48 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | vernbicep | 43 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bone | +3.54 | 86 | 76 |
| #2 | MO'11 | +2.88 | 88 | 68 |
| #3 | zpn | +1.36 | 83 | 67 |
| #4 | Marquina^ | +0.77 | 83 | 60 |
| #5 | mlky | +0.42 | 58 | 69 |





