








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 903 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 413 matches | ||
| Faceit | 401 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8677 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,952 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4096 | 13% |
| Smokes | 8253 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 11797 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 7806 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,666,386 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 242 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hooyman | 54% | 268 |
| #2 | LinkZ | 49% | 83 |
| #3 | dahs | 49% | 113 |
| #4 | Blighttown | 47% | 68 |
| #5 | B3RRG | 46% | 211 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | B3RRG | 46% | 211 |
| #6 | craZy1 | 44% | 66 |
| #7 | I downloaded more ram | 44% | 62 |
| #8 | Tabsterz | 43% | 132 |
| #9 | Cat | 40% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hooyman | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | B3RRG | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | dahs | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | craZy1 | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Blighttown | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B3RRG | 869 | 0.20 | 24 min |
| #2 | Tabsterz | 450 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | craZy1 | 387 | 0.27 | 10 min |
| #4 | Hooyman | 323 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #5 | Cat | 187 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B3RRG | +1.05 | 84 | 71 |
| #2 | Blighttown | +1.04 | 84 | 56 |
| #3 | Wigpo | +0.83 | 57 | 66 |
| #4 | I downloaded more ram | +0.38 | 65 | 51 |
| #5 | Hooyman | +0.31 | 79 | 54 |





