








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1507 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,198 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 752 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1330 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1522 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1594 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $789,366 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlacPain | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | rocksstorm | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | Dermitdermaustanzt | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | Divus | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | Ich war s nicht, oder doch?! | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | m4sh | 38% | 16 |
| #13 | zw3rg | 36% | 14 |
| #14 | SenhorVS | 31% | 13 |
| #15 | Gondrom | 27% | 15 |
| #16 | TitoBurasca | 18% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StoneCold | 4 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Bockwurst | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | K1ng0fSh1t | 2 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | M.o.r.F. | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Divus | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M.o.r.F. | 122 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | SenhorVS | 47 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | K1ng0fSh1t | 35 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Bockwurst | 32 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Divus | 25 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zw3rg | +1.26 | 41 | 42 |
| #2 | M.o.r.F. | +0.72 | 50 | 63 |
| #3 | BlacPain | +0.64 | 34 | 55 |
| #4 | rocksstorm | +0.26 | 44 | 60 |
| #5 | Jefferson | +0.24 | 64 | 57 |





