








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 976 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 288 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Esplay | 11 matches | 1,917 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4483 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,566 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4041 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3411 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3954 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3160 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $345,030 of utility $41 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 138 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h3msk | 239 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Kublai | 214 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | Krabban | 206 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | ASSY | 188 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #5 | β[snusskalle]leβ | 142 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | detectR | +2.82 | 78 | 65 |
| #2 | Kublai | +0.40 | 69 | 62 |
| #3 | β[snusskalle]leβ | +0.09 | 59 | 66 |
| #4 | Kladdah | -0.10 | 79 | 71 |
| #5 | ASSY | -0.23 | 69 | 77 |





