










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1615 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,549 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1586 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1227 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1556 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1180 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $688,501 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 199 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Romais˥ɐɯɐıs | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Ali G | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | Vandy | 55% | 38 |
| #4 | kOfIlOn ♛ | 52% | 27 |
| #5 | Amorek | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Gepalt | 33% | 9 |
| #13 | regis | 30% | 10 |
| #14 | SIMI.tekk23 | 28% | 18 |
| #15 | Krejzy | 20% | 10 |
| #16 | Macej | 17% | 12 |





