








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 487 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 614 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4968 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,656 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9162 | 28% |
| Smokes | 9330 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 7572 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6592 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,062,369 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 156 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hydr00_ | 50% | 141 |
| #2 | Eg3gaard | 48% | 122 |
| #3 | donjo9 | 47% | 109 |
| #4 | Giffel | 44% | 174 |
| #5 | Thomas :-) | 35% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hydr00_ | 50% | 141 |
| #2 | Eg3gaard | 48% | 122 |
| #3 | donjo9 | 47% | 109 |
| #4 | Giffel | 44% | 174 |
| #5 | Thomas :-) | 35% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hydr00_ | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Thomas :-) | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Giffel | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | donjo9 | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Eg3gaard | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giffel | 476 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | Eg3gaard | 155 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Hydr00_ | 140 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | donjo9 | 122 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Thomas :-) | 18 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hydr00_ | +1.42 | 82 | 53 |
| #2 | Eg3gaard | +0.86 | 87 | 54 |
| #3 | FlyZar | -0.24 | 63 | 71 |
| #4 | donjo9 | -0.65 | 60 | 64 |
| #5 | Thomas :-) | -1.87 | 18 | 39 |





