








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 961 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 225 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3617 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,184 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4164 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5920 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5406 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4694 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,137,569 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Katerina Ἑλλάς (Hellas☆) | 67% | 43 |
| #2 | Кощей | 64% | 129 |
| #3 | BoneAppleTea | 60% | 68 |
| #4 | [Tp:B] .xite- | 56% | 170 |
| #5 | Son of Sam* | 54% | 166 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Son of Sam* | 54% | 166 |
| #6 | Lizsa | 53% | 116 |
| #7 | Franz Hermann | 51% | 47 |
| #8 | [Tp:B] Hyperion | 49% | 55 |
| #9 | egge | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lizsa | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | BoneAppleTea | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Son of Sam* | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | [Tp:B] Hyperion | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | [Tp:B] .xite- | 4 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Tp:B] .xite- | 571 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #2 | Franz Hermann | 203 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | BoneAppleTea | 142 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Lizsa | 132 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | [Tp:B] Hyperion | 116 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Tp:B] .xite- | +3.98 | 65 | 78 |
| #2 | Franz Hermann | +2.58 | 63 | 77 |
| #3 | kAmikAze M4us | +1.91 | 40 | 79 |
| #4 | BoneAppleTea | +0.56 | 45 | 68 |
| #5 | egge | -0.91 | 57 | 72 |





