








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 377 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Esplay | 28 matches | 2,084 | |
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1289 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,188 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1283 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1017 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 969 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 919 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $431,007 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 123 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dudley | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | XDD | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | snurr | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | Dumbo | 67% | 9 |
| #5 | Haestvalp | 67% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kladdah | 119 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | danneb | 53 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | Dumbo | 52 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #4 | Myez | 32 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | Haestvalp | 27 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XDD | +3.06 | 90 | 69 |
| #2 | jens | +2.80 | 64 | 48 |
| #3 | shh | +1.93 | 83 | 71 |
| #4 | danneb | +1.58 | 87 | 74 |
| #5 | Myez | +0.79 | 81 | 58 |





