








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1155 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 786 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




112 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6813 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,817 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4108 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2072 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 4857 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 780 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,237,870 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1265 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Colbyyy | 60% | 45 |
| #2 | sbsb | 50% | 730 |
| #3 | damnBroccoli ツ | 48% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Colbyyy | 60% | 45 |
| #2 | sbsb | 50% | 730 |
| #3 | damnBroccoli ツ | 48% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sbsb | 92 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | damnBroccoli ツ | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Colbyyy | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sbsb | 563 | 0.04 | 18 min |
| #2 | damnBroccoli ツ | 464 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #3 | Colbyyy | 28 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sbsb | +0.63 | 62 | 53 |
| #2 | lane[dt] | -0.17 | 46 | 46 |
| #3 | damnBroccoli ツ | -0.49 | 61 | 66 |
| #4 | Colbyyy | -0.92 | 18 | 47 |





