








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 597 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 302 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3276 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,223 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4284 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3787 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3721 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3431 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $696,136 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 278 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fabio | 50% | 20 |
| #2 | LaZy | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | AK-40ozGOD | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | StaR | 45% | 22 |
| #5 | close2NEVER | 45% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | LaZy | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | AK-40ozGOD | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | StaR | 45% | 22 |
| #5 | close2NEVER | 45% | 38 |
| #6 | 2Pac | 43% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | close2NEVER | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2Pac | 218 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | AK-40ozGOD | 215 | 0.45 | 7 min |
| #3 | close2NEVER | 158 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | StaR | 85 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | LaZy | 38 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2Pac | +0.31 | 73 | 59 |
| #2 | close2NEVER | +0.28 | 65 | 67 |
| #3 | AK-40ozGOD | -0.08 | 62 | 71 |
| #4 | mars | -0.12 | 75 | 69 |
| #5 | Fabio | -0.47 | 59 | 49 |





