








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 444 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 190 matches | ||
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3258 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,653 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2632 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2905 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5106 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 4010 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,617,371 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 343 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ankhenstein | 68% | 38 |
| #2 | Hjælp Flamse | 68% | 25 |
| #3 | Bergizzle | 63% | 49 |
| #4 | MiniMeth 💩 | 59% | 99 |
| #5 | Bingo4k | 58% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Zachytits | 49% | 86 |
| #14 | WHATWHATWHAT | 48% | 29 |
| #15 | Vincentz90 | 46% | 37 |
| #16 | CandyMan- | 46% | 24 |
| #17 | Sm4Kage | 45% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sm4Kage | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Pjolsen | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | HolgerDanske | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | SkodFreak <3 | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | MiniMeth 💩 | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SkodFreak <3 | 1026 | 0.23 | 33 min |
| #2 | HolgerDanske | 604 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #3 | MiniMeth 💩 | 364 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #4 | agge | 345 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | Sm4Kage | 306 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bergizzle | +3.76 | 56 | 67 |
| #2 | MiniMeth 💩 | +3.32 | 75 | 70 |
| #3 | Sm4Kage | +3.10 | 47 | 66 |
| #4 | SkodFreak <3 | +2.33 | 52 | 85 |
| #5 | Houlberg ☘ | +1.95 | 72 | 70 |





