








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 345 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 313 matches | ||
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3683 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,674 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2354 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3101 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2689 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3530 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,670,255 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | olibanjoli | 47% | 38 |
| #8 | modano | 46% | 114 |
| #9 | mYKe | 45% | 84 |
| #10 | cortez | 42% | 84 |
| #11 | nilsanity [A] | 41% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | predch | 294 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | modano | 289 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | cortez | 141 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | nilsanity [A] | 129 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | MADEVIV | 125 | 0.06 | 4 min |





