








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3365 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1694 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 669 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 131 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
20750 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 107,855 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 35902 | 33% |
| Smokes | 21206 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 24981 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 25766 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,967,236 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 341 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kisa | 59% | 495 |
| #2 | DURP | 54% | 234 |
| #3 | BearThrylls | 53% | 672 |
| #4 | Juicy Orange | 53% | 298 |
| #5 | 𝑬𝑵𝑶 | 52% | 217 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lalaz | 18 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | BearThrylls | 16 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | kaykay | 11 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Kisa | 10 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | DURP | 9 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lalaz | 2977 | 0.14 | 72 min |
| #2 | BearThrylls | 1983 | 0.15 | 46 min |
| #3 | DURP | 1681 | 0.34 | 49 min |
| #4 | Kisa | 1446 | 0.14 | 34 min |
| #5 | kaykay | 1424 | 0.15 | 33 min |





