








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1046 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 186 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4582 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,196 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3867 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4784 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3789 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3756 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,991,570 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 471 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cute Jeff | 51% | 35 |
| #2 | Stafoo | 50% | 48 |
| #3 | ♤Riddler♤ | 48% | 61 |
| #4 | kinetic | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cute Jeff | 51% | 35 |
| #2 | Stafoo | 50% | 48 |
| #3 | ♤Riddler♤ | 48% | 61 |
| #4 | kinetic | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♤Riddler♤ | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Stafoo | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | kinetic | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Cute Jeff | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♤Riddler♤ | 206 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | Stafoo | 122 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | kinetic | 115 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Cute Jeff | 91 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kinetic | +1.44 | 83 | 72 |
| #2 | JAZZ_HANDZ | +1.33 | 61 | 54 |
| #3 | ♤Riddler♤ | -0.00 | 77 | 69 |
| #4 | Stafoo | -1.48 | 63 | 77 |
| #5 | Cute Jeff | -1.79 | 46 | 66 |





