








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 703 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2667 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,971 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2140 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2713 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2216 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1902 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,166,991 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Luke | 49% | 264 |
| #8 | Xi | 48% | 62 |
| #9 | BobAmok | 48% | 81 |
| #10 | QwlvRusxJkqU4cZ | 42% | 26 |
| #11 | NosJr23 | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luke | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | nVy | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Ralph | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | BobAmok | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Xi | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nVy | 455 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #2 | Luke | 443 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #3 | BobAmok | 351 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #4 | Ralph | 226 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #5 | QwlvRusxJkqU4cZ | 122 | 0.21 | 3 min |





