








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 122 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1850 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,518 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2269 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2176 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2684 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2389 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $297,734 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L1Nlaren ♛ | 86% | 14 |
| #2 | gitek | 82% | 22 |
| #3 | Knäcke | 79% | 14 |
| #4 | 2 | 65% | 105 |
| #5 | update enjoyer | 65% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | flxyy | 50% | 20 |
| #11 | royal /// | 46% | 13 |
| #12 | WarTi | 43% | 14 |
| #13 | joshh | 42% | 12 |
| #14 | sk41 | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2 | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | royal /// | 3 | 0.0154 |
| #3 | p0ntifex_ | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Cr4sh | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Knäcke | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2 | 396 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #2 | p0ntifex_ | 289 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | Cr4sh | 259 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | devn- | 80 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Knäcke | 52 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cr4sh | +1.94 | 82 | 59 |
| #2 | L1Nlaren ♛ | +1.42 | 53 | 66 |
| #3 | 2 | +1.12 | 77 | 73 |
| #4 | bambiii | +1.03 | 78 | 75 |
| #5 | update enjoyer | +1.01 | 89 | 57 |





