








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 254 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2751 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,756 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1979 | 13% |
| Smokes | 3752 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5198 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4827 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $196,285 of utility $27 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B E A S T | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | Hami<3Konoe | 55% | 31 |
| #3 | Noobidoo | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | |only3|-->SoNGeNoOo2k | 48% | 178 |
| #5 | |only3|-->Dax !™ツ | 47% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | |only3|-->I´ám™ @mifo_o86 | 43% | 46 |
| #10 | ☠JackBlack♾ | 43% | 68 |
| #11 | p-low | 40% | 30 |
| #12 | Skaysens | 39% | 31 |
| #13 | † poL1tz † | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | |only3|-->SoNGeNoOo2k | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Marshmallow ♥ | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | |only3|-->✯ραη¢αкє2к | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | |only3|-->Dax !™ツ | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Noobidoo | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☠JackBlack♾ | 218 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | |only3|-->SoNGeNoOo2k | 197 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #3 | |only3|-->✯ραη¢αкє2к | 100 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Hami<3Konoe | 94 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Noobidoo | 78 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B E A S T | +3.75 | 61 | 65 |
| #2 | Hami<3Konoe | +3.23 | 88 | 67 |
| #3 | Noobidoo | +2.65 | 81 | 76 |
| #4 | ☠JackBlack♾ | +1.61 | 57 | 77 |
| #5 | † poL1tz † | +1.47 | 75 | 62 |





