








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 519 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 188 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2342 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,589 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1072 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1537 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2147 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1833 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,494,208 of utility $302 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HΔL | Lukadz | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | Jurre | 54% | 52 |
| #3 | knarkjesus | 50% | 36 |
| #4 | Palmmar | 48% | 89 |
| #5 | Hallucine | 48% | 69 |





