








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 152 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
564 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,466 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 746 | 30% |
| Smokes | 771 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 471 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 478 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $226,647 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RICH | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | MORTY | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | ✪ $h4d0w lay lay シ ♥ | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | skipper | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | Krigern Gert | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | it's me | 3 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | JuuuicyAsFuuuuark | 2 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | KESSE | 2 | 0.0202 |
| #4 | skipper | 1 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | TykkeTove | 1 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JuuuicyAsFuuuuark | 40 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | it's me | 32 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | ::Gandi:: | 29 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | KESSE | 15 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Krigern Gert | 13 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skipper | +3.00 | 76 | 58 |
| #2 | JuuuicyAsFuuuuark | +2.18 | 59 | 41 |
| #3 | ✪ $h4d0w lay lay シ ♥ | +1.83 | 45 | 28 |
| #4 | RICH | +0.10 | 30 | 68 |
| #5 | MORTY | -0.00 | 80 | 25 |





