








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1287 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,925 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1483 | 38% |
| Smokes | 841 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 990 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 611 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $162,776 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flamie | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | goodfornothing | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | Pantz | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | Gus the Goose | 57% | 28 |
| #5 | Fresh | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | ALLEJSTR | 44% | 16 |
| #10 | mak10zo | 39% | 18 |
| #11 | stupid1ty | 38% | 8 |
| #12 | Nemmeh | 33% | 15 |
| #13 | banaangamer | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gus the Goose | 91 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | Pman | 61 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | ALLEJSTR | 58 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | bernie | 54 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | mak10zo | 25 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ALLEJSTR | +3.31 | 83 | 66 |
| #2 | nathzOO | +1.71 | 75 | 71 |
| #3 | flamie | +1.66 | 61 | 41 |
| #4 | bernie | +0.32 | 68 | 62 |
| #5 | Pman | -0.33 | 78 | 70 |





