








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 293 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
984 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,686 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1764 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1380 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1370 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1172 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $326,680 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chris R | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | showtime go johnny goo | 55% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chris R | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | showtime go johnny goo | 55% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | showtime go johnny goo | 8 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Chris R | 3 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | showtime go johnny goo | 301 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | Chris R | 42 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chris R | +1.33 | 50 | 50 |
| #2 | showtime go johnny goo | +0.55 | 44 | 72 |
| #3 | dredg | -0.68 | 35 | 72 |





