








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1055 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 231 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3413 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,697 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4119 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3668 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1770 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 3140 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,013,048 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 353 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _MwK | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | FLÆKKEDUNSE | 65% | 31 |
| #3 | Damsbo | 63% | 24 |
| #4 | tico.⭐ | 62% | 39 |
| #5 | Vonsild | 61% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gulle | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | tico.⭐ | 5 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | ZQC | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Postmand Per | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | guldfiskpapi 144hz | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gulle | 327 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #2 | Postmand Per | 191 | 0.33 | 4 min |
| #3 | ZQC | 165 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | Visi | 161 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | Damsbo | 161 | 0.31 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w0rm | +2.91 | 73 | 69 |
| #2 | guldfiskpapi 144hz | +2.63 | 84 | 75 |
| #3 | Postmand Per | +2.48 | 84 | 47 |
| #4 | Chiliesauce | +1.88 | 71 | 55 |
| #5 | tico.⭐ | +1.76 | 76 | 73 |





