








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 422 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 278 matches | ||
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Wingman | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3461 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,524 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2311 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3166 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4408 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2639 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,754,781 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 848 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Banana Donny | 51% | 39 |
| #2 | FelixTheCat | 50% | 96 |
| #3 | BOT Haze | 32% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Banana Donny | 51% | 39 |
| #2 | FelixTheCat | 50% | 96 |
| #3 | BOT Haze | 32% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FelixTheCat | 15 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | BOT Haze | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Banana Donny | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT Haze | 83 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | Banana Donny | 69 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | FelixTheCat | 32 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FelixTheCat | +2.81 | 51 | 37 |
| #2 | BOT Haze | +1.09 | 69 | 42 |
| #3 | BOT tr1ppy | -0.44 | 60 | 49 |
| #4 | Banana Donny | -1.12 | 53 | 63 |





