








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 211 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 264 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2662 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,964 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2954 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3092 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3286 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2632 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,055,376 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 170 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PETT1_ | 66% | 73 |
| #2 | zet0r | 53% | 175 |
| #3 | NXLO | 53% | 66 |
| #4 | DOOBERI | 52% | 131 |
| #5 | membu | 52% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Gohiti ツ | 50% | 68 |
| #8 | Rake | 47% | 47 |
| #9 | wiiiii | 46% | 26 |
| #10 | Suqp3r | 44% | 27 |
| #11 | RUDY[u_u] | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vee SILE | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | DOOBERI | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | zet0r | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | NXLO | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Gohiti ツ | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zet0r | 990 | 0.26 | 31 min |
| #2 | vee SILE | 677 | 0.21 | 19 min |
| #3 | DOOBERI | 459 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #4 | PETT1_ | 289 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #5 | membu | 242 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PETT1_ | +2.67 | 71 | 67 |
| #2 | NXLO | +2.17 | 88 | 49 |
| #3 | membu | +1.95 | 62 | 68 |
| #4 | wiiiii | +1.64 | 78 | 71 |
| #5 | Gohiti ツ | +0.36 | 64 | 45 |





