








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank |
|---|
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
62 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 230 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 18 | 8% |
| Smokes | 62 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 103 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 47 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $17,925 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patrick | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | General Blyatski ✪✪✪✪✪ | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | toBert | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | Noa | 67% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patrick | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | General Blyatski ✪✪✪✪✪ | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | toBert | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | Noa | 67% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patrick | 1 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | General Blyatski ✪✪✪✪✪ | 37 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #2 | Noa | 28 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | toBert | 22 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Patrick | 14 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | General Blyatski ✪✪✪✪✪ | +5.33 | 76 | 87 |
| #2 | toBert | +0.87 | 63 | 81 |
| #3 | Noa | +0.58 | 78 | 66 |
| #4 | Patrick | -0.18 | 37 | 75 |
| #5 | IchIro | -1.42 | 41 | 36 |





