








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1086 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 284 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 156 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 55 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8935 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,775 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9982 | 30% |
| Smokes | 8001 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8221 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6571 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,652,496 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L1nk | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Kushho | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | slanteyez | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Oatmeal | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | DragonHeartLess | 3 | 0.0016 |





