








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 626 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1936 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,766 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2477 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2841 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3027 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3421 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,662,171 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nizl | 58% | 77 |
| #2 | Noobinthisgame | 56% | 192 |
| #3 | Gregotz | 45% | 56 |
| #4 | DerTobi | 41% | 37 |
| #5 | Bot Bobr | 39% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Noobinthisgame | 56% | 192 |
| #3 | Gregotz | 45% | 56 |
| #4 | DerTobi | 41% | 37 |
| #5 | Bot Bobr | 39% | 46 |
| #6 | tweety | 31% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tweety | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Noobinthisgame | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Bot Bobr | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | DerTobi | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noobinthisgame | 314 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #2 | nizl | 231 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | DerTobi | 88 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Gregotz | 80 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bot Bobr | 71 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noobinthisgame | +6.00 | 81 | 51 |
| #2 | nizl | +0.33 | 19 | 65 |
| #3 | schlapp3n | -0.55 | 42 | 56 |
| #4 | Bot Bobr | -0.99 | 45 | 55 |
| #5 | Gregotz | -1.86 | 47 | 50 |





