








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 430 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 219 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4090 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,848 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3773 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1992 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3178 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2905 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $876,875 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11794 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spaghet | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | xx44pp4422 | 55% | 47 |
| #3 | John Widen | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | Ludwig Loodbig | 33% | 30 |
| #5 | zhoiker | 31% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spaghet | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | xx44pp4422 | 55% | 47 |
| #3 | John Widen | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | Ludwig Loodbig | 33% | 30 |
| #5 | zhoiker | 31% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spaghet | 16 | 0.0381 |
| #2 | Ludwig Loodbig | 15 | 0.0291 |
| #3 | xx44pp4422 | 10 | 0.0115 |
| #4 | John Widen | 8 | 0.0195 |
| #5 | zhoiker | 7 | 0.0107 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spaghet | 83 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #2 | John Widen | 66 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | xx44pp4422 | 61 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ludwig Loodbig | 27 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | zhoiker | 26 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | liùliùliù | +1.17 | 84 | 59 |
| #2 | John Widen | +1.14 | 70 | 47 |
| #3 | Ludwig Loodbig | +0.90 | 80 | 14 |
| #4 | xx44pp4422 | +0.84 | 61 | 43 |
| #5 | Spaghet | +0.32 | 89 | 37 |





