








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 192 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1963 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,735 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1258 | 27% |
| Smokes | 986 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1577 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 914 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $275,961 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1460 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alone Nesto | 50% | 14 |
| #2 | Reda | 38% | 13 |
| #3 | ♿DH | 38% | 21 |
| #4 | your father is weak | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alone Nesto | 50% | 14 |
| #2 | Reda | 38% | 13 |
| #3 | ♿DH | 38% | 21 |
| #4 | your father is weak | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reda | 20 | 0.0813 |
| #2 | your father is weak | 15 | 0.0455 |
| #3 | ♿DH | 9 | 0.0235 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reda | 108 | 0.44 | 1 min |
| #2 | your father is weak | 79 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #3 | Alone Nesto | 53 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | ♿DH | 35 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | your father is weak | +5.16 | 90 | 45 |
| #2 | Alone Nesto | +3.95 | 71 | 65 |
| #3 | ♿DH | +1.74 | 72 | 57 |
| #4 | Nassim | +0.73 | 61 | 43 |
| #5 | Reda | -0.71 | 59 | 43 |





