








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2214 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 889 matches | ||
| Wingman | 262 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 124 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12034 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,452 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11829 | 29% |
| Smokes | 10925 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 8569 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 10129 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,436,019 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1572 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...





