










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 212 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 99 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1857 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,434 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1019 | 12% |
| Smokes | 2117 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2328 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2970 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,438,293 of utility $276 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 214 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 凸﹏ʕ҂°ʖ°ʔ﹏凸 | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | swoosh CS.PRO | 55% | 187 |
| #3 | King Bob | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | WhiteBoy - Th4bullz™ | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 凸﹏ʕ҂°ʖ°ʔ﹏凸 | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | swoosh CS.PRO | 55% | 187 |
| #3 | King Bob | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | WhiteBoy - Th4bullz™ | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swoosh CS.PRO | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | King Bob | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swoosh CS.PRO | 626 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #2 | 凸﹏ʕ҂°ʖ°ʔ﹏凸 | 163 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | WhiteBoy - Th4bullz™ | 17 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | King Bob | 9 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Bob | +1.32 | 74 | 34 |
| #2 | iyego | +1.32 | 54 | 60 |
| #3 | WhiteBoy - Th4bullz™ | +0.59 | 65 | 55 |
| #4 | 凸﹏ʕ҂°ʖ°ʔ﹏凸 | -0.27 | 39 | 76 |
| #5 | swoosh CS.PRO | -0.87 | 42 | 74 |





