








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1298 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 727 matches | ||
| Premier | 649 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11968 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,091 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3455 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1475 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 3148 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4013 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,011,330 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Habby<3 | 26 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Phinix | 18 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Julian02 | 17 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Eric Cartman | 12 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | nuke_merik | 11 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Habby<3 | 1205 | 0.07 | 29 min |
| #2 | Eric Cartman | 572 | 0.32 | 14 min |
| #3 | Julian02 | 449 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #4 | nuke_merik | 344 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #5 | Phinix | 303 | 0.05 | 8 min |





