








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 928 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 457 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5324 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,427 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3662 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4940 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3649 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2176 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,003,041 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1627 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | James Doakes | 32 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | Shadowlix | 16 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Paul Kellerman | 11 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Šećer Tatica | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | 5tuffy | 7 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shadowlix | 743 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #2 | Šećer Tatica | 554 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | James Doakes | 368 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | Paul Kellerman | 200 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | SsCME_Obama | 115 | 0.12 | 3 min |





