








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 263 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 58 matches | ||
| Wingman | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8621 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,582 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2333 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1561 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 4310 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 1378 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,921,870 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 535 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Character | 72% | 87 |
| #2 | Marty | 70% | 30 |
| #3 | Alex | 61% | 44 |
| #4 | PP-Bizon | 60% | 94 |
| #5 | ✨-CatDaddy-✨ | 58% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | PP-Bizon | 60% | 94 |
| #5 | ✨-CatDaddy-✨ | 58% | 31 |
| #6 | SexyAssBakedPotato | 57% | 489 |
| #7 | King Salt | 54% | 35 |
| #8 | niche | 48% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexyAssBakedPotato | 36 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Character | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | PP-Bizon | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | niche | 4 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | Alex | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexyAssBakedPotato | 1156 | 0.13 | 31 min |
| #2 | ✨-CatDaddy-✨ | 105 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | PP-Bizon | 53 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Character | 49 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Alex | 46 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marty | +5.14 | 76 | 60 |
| #2 | Character | +4.92 | 89 | 51 |
| #3 | niche | +4.77 | 80 | 53 |
| #4 | Alex | +4.75 | 95 | 54 |
| #5 | աɦǟʟɛɮʟʏǟȶ | +2.72 | 90 | 44 |





