








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 541 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 244 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




72 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4921 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,814 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6972 | 41% |
| Smokes | 3136 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4050 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2656 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,459,365 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1185 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jasemin | 57% | 56 |
| #2 | 𝐉𝟎𝐧𝐚𝐳 Jonas 3 | 52% | 54 |
| #3 | Slayer | 46% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jasemin | 57% | 56 |
| #2 | 𝐉𝟎𝐧𝐚𝐳 Jonas 3 | 52% | 54 |
| #3 | Slayer | 46% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jasemin | 14 | 0.0127 |
| #2 | 𝐉𝟎𝐧𝐚𝐳 Jonas 3 | 7 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Slayer | 4 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slayer | 117 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | 𝐉𝟎𝐧𝐚𝐳 Jonas 3 | 98 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Jasemin | 96 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝐉𝟎𝐧𝐚𝐳 Jonas 3 | +1.66 | 69 | 55 |
| #2 | Slayer | +1.54 | 76 | 53 |
| #3 | Jasemin | +0.61 | 61 | 48 |
| #4 | Neo | +0.08 | 60 | 60 |





