








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 688 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3176 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,529 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2946 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1984 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2323 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2276 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $664,785 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fallz | 89% | 19 |
| #2 | Zebbzz | 78% | 32 |
| #3 | Matty | 77% | 35 |
| #4 | hunter | 75% | 16 |
| #5 | PugLife | 73% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | PugLife | 73% | 15 |
| #6 | Ackerman | 69% | 16 |
| #7 | ♚i5-𝘙𝘦𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵 | 62% | 87 |
| #8 | JAYSMERK (new keybinds + knife) | 60% | 156 |
| #9 | Amyzing | 54% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♚i5-𝘙𝘦𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵 | 17 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | Matty | 11 | 0.0151 |
| #3 | Zebbzz | 10 | 0.0152 |
| #4 | JAYSMERK (new keybinds + knife) | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Amyzing | 2 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JAYSMERK (new keybinds + knife) | 212 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | ♚i5-𝘙𝘦𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵 | 170 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Matty | 127 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Zebbzz | 112 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Fallz | 86 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fallz | +5.25 | 76 | 64 |
| #2 | ⊹Jama | +3.75 | 93 | 65 |
| #3 | Ackerman | +2.98 | 91 | 42 |
| #4 | hunter | +2.58 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | ♚i5-𝘙𝘦𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵 | +2.18 | 85 | 59 |





