








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1240 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




193 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7561 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,992 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5230 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4877 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 7737 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 7148 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $880,675 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1803 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | aga | 41% | 69 |
| #10 | Yuzi | 39% | 122 |
| #11 | JeseFS | 38% | 125 |
| #12 | Melkony | 37% | 49 |
| #13 | Mimi | 33% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SonKu | 397 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | Mimi | 208 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #3 | Yuzi | 173 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | JeseFS | 166 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Melkony | 152 | 0.16 | 3 min |





