








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
174 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 156 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 28 | 18% |
| Smokes | 49 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 47 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 32 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $23,688 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sascha_T | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | 詐欺師 | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | Jah | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | DaMagicFox | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | lalalalalala | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 詐欺師 | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | Jah | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | DaMagicFox | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | lalalalalala | 50% | 12 |
| #6 | absoluteSpacehead | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 詐欺師 | 6 | 0.0305 |
| #2 | Jah | 3 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | lalalalalala | 3 | 0.0129 |
| #4 | absoluteSpacehead | 3 | 0.0306 |
| #5 | Sascha_T | 2 | 0.0278 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 詐欺師 | 39 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #2 | lalalalalala | 23 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Jah | 15 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | Sascha_T | 13 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #5 | absoluteSpacehead | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vorp | +3.76 | 73 | 32 |
| #2 | DaMagicFox | +1.96 | 91 | 10 |
| #3 | absoluteSpacehead | +1.45 | 25 | 5 |
| #4 | Jah | -0.03 | 53 | 37 |
| #5 | lalalalalala | -0.05 | 43 | 45 |





