








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 488 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 299 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6181 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,002 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2609 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1733 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3951 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 1709 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,309,190 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 373 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Izz ⇄ | 58% | 24 |
| #9 | PP-Bizon | 58% | 31 |
| #10 | Guardian | 52% | 33 |
| #11 | kita | 46% | 28 |
| #12 | Kharma | 45% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meap | 8 | 0.0162 |
| #2 | King Salt | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | SexyAssBakedPotato | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Stray Donkey | 5 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | Guardian | 3 | 0.0045 |





