








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 891 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 66 matches | ||
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5639 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,000 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6515 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3284 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2747 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4454 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $977,676 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1099 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shrine | 57% | 199 |
| #2 | arx | 56% | 39 |
| #3 | Chubby Monster | 55% | 67 |
| #4 | Razzamuffin | 55% | 71 |
| #5 | ♥ Bizøn is Sexy ♥ | 52% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | {Mr. Kitty} | 50% | 336 |
| #7 | CaptainDexxy | 44% | 226 |
| #8 | Magicpro- | 44% | 39 |
| #9 | KingGee93 | 42% | 52 |
| #10 | GPhxntom | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | {Mr. Kitty} | 11 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Shrine | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | ♥ Bizøn is Sexy ♥ | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | KingGee93 | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | GPhxntom | 4 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shrine | 1014 | 0.23 | 33 min |
| #2 | {Mr. Kitty} | 933 | 0.13 | 27 min |
| #3 | ♥ Bizøn is Sexy ♥ | 643 | 0.23 | 18 min |
| #4 | Razzamuffin | 545 | 0.35 | 16 min |
| #5 | Chubby Monster | 271 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flop | +3.10 | 75 | 68 |
| #2 | arx | +2.09 | 87 | 72 |
| #3 | ♥ Bizøn is Sexy ♥ | +1.43 | 69 | 72 |
| #4 | Shrine | +1.33 | 74 | 72 |
| #5 | Chubby Monster | +1.17 | 64 | 50 |





