








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1253 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 794 matches | ||
| Faceit | 173 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 139 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10366 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,964 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11508 | 30% |
| Smokes | 10334 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7963 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 9159 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,111,446 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1002 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | lms | 47% | 320 |
| #12 | [OldBoyz] CROM | 45% | 107 |
| #13 | Brun | 45% | 200 |
| #14 | gnalterk1d | 44% | 79 |
| #15 | RobbinAK | 44% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | guLars | 13 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | lms | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Vargas | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Brun | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | gnalterk1d | 5 | 0.0030 |





