










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 857 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1111 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 441 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9327 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 50,182 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9088 | 18% |
| Smokes | 13885 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 13923 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 13286 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,017,080 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Chesterfield | 50% | 241 |
| #6 | w0RTHY | 50% | 68 |
| #7 | Target Practice | 50% | 426 |
| #8 | JaysoK | 49% | 295 |
| #9 | POISON | 49% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | notkpankk | 122 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | ☁ dice | 54 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | JaysoK | 23 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Target Practice | 15 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | POISON | 15 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | notkpankk | 1533 | 0.10 | 29 min |
| #2 | ☁ dice | 1049 | 0.05 | 23 min |
| #3 | JaysoK | 829 | 0.13 | 25 min |
| #4 | Target Practice | 547 | 0.06 | 13 min |
| #5 | Chesterfield | 492 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☁ dice | +3.12 | 79 | 61 |
| #2 | notkpankk | +2.87 | 79 | 49 |
| #3 | w0RTHY | +2.58 | 67 | 62 |
| #4 | Domino | -0.42 | 31 | 71 |
| #5 | Target Practice | -0.79 | 31 | 66 |





