








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 907 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 329 matches | ||
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Wingman | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




284 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7538 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,652 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2838 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1456 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 2943 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2415 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,507,022 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 338 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...





