








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
56 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3 | 8% |
| Smokes | 11 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 10 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 14 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $7,568 of utility $36 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ze goon♿ | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | TreePie.exe | 38% | 8 |
| #3 | Zefir | 38% | 8 |
| #4 | cocaine | 33% | 3 |
| #5 | touch some grass | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ze goon♿ | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | TreePie.exe | 38% | 8 |
| #3 | Zefir | 38% | 8 |
| #4 | cocaine | 33% | 3 |
| #5 | touch some grass | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cocaine | 4 | 0.0597 |
| #2 | Zefir | 3 | 0.0191 |
| #3 | TreePie.exe | 2 | 0.0118 |
| #4 | touch some grass | 1 | 0.0083 |
| #5 | ze goon♿ | 1 | 0.0278 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TreePie.exe | 30 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #2 | touch some grass | 30 | 0.25 | 0 min |
| #3 | cocaine | 7 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | ze goon♿ | 3 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | Zefir | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cocaine | +9.78 | 85 | 39 |
| #2 | ze goon♿ | +4.03 | 51 | 5 |
| #3 | TreePie.exe | -0.81 | 60 | 57 |
| #4 | touch some grass | -1.48 | 42 | 29 |
| #5 | Sohzy_ | -2.20 | 43 | 10 |





