








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2592 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1068 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




95 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14614 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,193 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5415 | 15% |
| Smokes | 9405 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 10873 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 10500 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,996,674 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 792 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jopska | 54% | 111 |
| #2 | AleksiP | 53% | 158 |
| #3 | FYX1 | 53% | 309 |
| #4 | Blöb | 49% | 215 |
| #5 | Mikey | 49% | 172 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FYX1 | 19 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Mikey | 11 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | AleksiP | 11 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Blöb | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Hipparkhos Nikaialainen | 5 | 0.0019 |





