








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2070 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,378 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1767 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2107 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1656 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1848 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $419,627 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Josh Allen | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | Hollow Soldier | 65% | 66 |
| #3 | Linc | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | ☩PATRON☩ | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | BakedPotato | 55% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BakedPotato | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | restart | 3 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | ZaidEmpire | 2 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | Hollow Soldier | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Elon Tusk | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BakedPotato | 162 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | Hollow Soldier | 133 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Elon Tusk | 53 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | ZaidEmpire | 45 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | restart | 42 | 0.15 | 1 min |





